Submitted by Fred L.Saturday, February 2, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
More Super Bowl Humor.
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
The first man says, 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, like a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
The first man says, 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, like a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
Submitted by Janice L.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sounds like a plan.
You should always give 100% at work...
- 12% Monday
- 23% Tuesday
- 40% Wednesday
- 20% Thursday
- 5% Friday
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Super Bowl Humor
God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?"
Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?"
Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose; I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing field."
God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"
Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
Submitted by Janice L.
Blonde Inventions
Black highlighter ~ Waterproof tea bags ~ Braille driving manual ~ Dehydrated water ~ Air conditioning for motorcycle ~ Left handed pencil ~ Wooden barbecue ~ Glow-in-the-dark sun dial ~ Gasoline filled fire extinguisher ~ Battery-powered battery charger ~ Clear correction fluid ~ Fake rhinestones ~ Fireproof matches ~ Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses ~ Mesh umbrella ~ Solar-powered flashlight
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Now can you understand why he's the boss?
Mr. Smith was known far and wide as a hard-nosed boss who watched his employees like a hawk. He was making one of his regular tours of the factory when he spotted a young man leaning against a pile of boxes just outside the foreman's office.
Since George, the foreman, wasn't around, Smith stood off to the side and watched to see just how long the young man would stand around doing nothing.
The young man yawned, scratched his head, looked at his watch, and sat on the floor. He took out a nail file and began cleaning his nails. Then he stretched, yawned again, and leaned back on the pile of boxes.
Smith stepped from his hiding place and walked up to the young man. "You!" he boomed. "How much do you make a week?"
The young man looked up indifferently. "Two hundred and fifty dollars," he said.
Smith swooped into the cashier's office, took $250 from the cash box, and returned. "Take it," he said, "and get out! Don't let me see you around here again!"
The young man took the cash, put it in his pocket, and left.
Smith snorted at his lack of remorse, embarrassment, or any other feeling. Then he went looking for George. When he found him, Smith was red with anger.
"That idler in front of your office," Smith said. "I just gave him a week's pay and fired him. What's the matter with you, letting him stand around as though he had nothing to do?"
"You mean the kid in the red shirt?" George asked.
"Yes! The kid in the red shirt!"
"He was waiting for the twenty dollars we owe him for lunch," George said. "He works for the coffee shop around the corner."
Since George, the foreman, wasn't around, Smith stood off to the side and watched to see just how long the young man would stand around doing nothing.
The young man yawned, scratched his head, looked at his watch, and sat on the floor. He took out a nail file and began cleaning his nails. Then he stretched, yawned again, and leaned back on the pile of boxes.
Smith stepped from his hiding place and walked up to the young man. "You!" he boomed. "How much do you make a week?"
The young man looked up indifferently. "Two hundred and fifty dollars," he said.
Smith swooped into the cashier's office, took $250 from the cash box, and returned. "Take it," he said, "and get out! Don't let me see you around here again!"
The young man took the cash, put it in his pocket, and left.
Smith snorted at his lack of remorse, embarrassment, or any other feeling. Then he went looking for George. When he found him, Smith was red with anger.
"That idler in front of your office," Smith said. "I just gave him a week's pay and fired him. What's the matter with you, letting him stand around as though he had nothing to do?"
"You mean the kid in the red shirt?" George asked.
"Yes! The kid in the red shirt!"
"He was waiting for the twenty dollars we owe him for lunch," George said. "He works for the coffee shop around the corner."
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
